I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
Aaaaand I just watched him face plant in front of the taxi. This is why we don't invite him to margarita night.
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
Fucking someone because they own a lava lamp is like fucking someone because they have 20 dollars and no concern for their house burning down.
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
When you wanted to give that guy at McDonalds your number you asked the cashier if you could borrow "a pen or just like a straw with his blood on it". He gave you a pen.
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
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