OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
How I know we're old. Don knows the owner. The owner said 'How about some shots?' We said no thanks. He looked puzzled and came back later and said 'You know it's on the house?' We said 'Yeah, no thanks.'
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
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