your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
...Just this whole adulting thing gets in the way of mermaid drag shows at lesbian bars.
After my shift today I'm going on a bender. Not saying this so you'll stop me, just a heads up to invest in Tylenol, Gatorade, and Jack
I'm bleeding and have questions
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
Randomize
