Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
Btw, the reason I have a black eye is bc I needed to puke so hard yesterday morning; I whipped up the toilet seat so fast that I railed myself in the face. Then spent the rest of the day more carefully puking. Kind of why I'm not in the mood for drinking.
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