Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
Woke up with puke in my bed and my pockets full of Tootsie Rolls.
Jealous.
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I want to apologize in advance for texting you a picture of my penis tonight.
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
I will be naked everywhere
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
I need vodka and champagne for my new favorite drink, vodkapagne. Alternative spellings are "vodkapain" and "vom-machine"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
Currently sifting through all the dick pics and nudes for a picture of my dad and I to post on social media for Father's Day...
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
Randomize