Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple
I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
What shirt can I wear out that says 'I may have a broken arm, but it's not the one I give handjobs with'?
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
I need to go to St. Louis more often. The brides sorority sisters were practically fighting over me once they heard I work on Wall St.
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