i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
omg i met someone at the bar who sells hair feathers. that are long. saved in my phone as "haiirs deather"
This is one of those times I wish I had a time machine so I could go back and punch myself in the face to make me realize what I need to do before it's too late
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
AND I NEED A VIKING FUNERAL OR MY GHOST ASS WILL SAUNTER ON OVER AND CASTRATE HIM FOR TECHNICALLY MURDERING ME
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
Randomize
