Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
You wore a man's plastic top hat last night.
No I didn't. Whiskey did.
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
I'm taking the day off so I can get drunk at Whole Foods before noon
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
My new dentist just kinda stared at me when I told him that I used to have partial dentures after breaking 2 teeth while beating the shit out of someone, until I puked them into the toilet and flushed them after getting high and making myself undercooked mac and cheese.
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
Randomize
