i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
You insisted we help some homeless guy put up posters for his missing pet alligator so we left you there because they were really just Chinese takeout menus.
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
Whenever someone tells me they've never met a bisexual, I feel like a majestic fucking unicorn.
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
Randomize
