You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
She's JV to your varsity
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
I will give you the couch, a small portion of the fridge, and plenty of beer.
Got my future figured out. I'm oddly comforted. Thanks, bro.
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
Randomize
