My room smells like vodka and shame
If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
i just broke my key off in the door of my house because the engine wasnt starting
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
We stole your phone last night, texted your brother and told him you wanted it up the ass by him. All he said was "I want ur money."
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
Let's be honest, your relationships fail because the man you're looking for is the equivalent of an intellectual blow-up doll.
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
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