I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
I just found the gloves and lightbulb I stole. Did you pee on a ATM inside a bank?
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
Mom is talking about dicks with her friends in the living room. I am 5 seconds away from scaling the bathroom window out of here.
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
Randomize
