I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
Listen, unless you want to spend your birthday in a trunk, you better invite me
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
You yelled at me about a fork.
You probably deserved it, I'm very territorial about my cutlery.
Randomize
