Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
Nothing screams don't date me louder then having your baby as your profile pic
She's making her own pesto again. Cooking spaghetti in the microwave and "frying" vegetables in the toaster oven. All this while wearing the yellow rubber gloves and saying that the pesto has feelings like a real person. Im terrified.
Bad news is he broke up with me via text message
But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
If I pissed all over some chicks bed I would probably apologize for getting so wasted, not putting out, and turning into a god damn R. Kelly Cinderella... Not ask for coffee and a ride home.
If you got me high enough to laugh at a ceiling fan until I shat my pants you should at least have the decency to buy me another pair
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
3 weeks in a row I've pulled '69' at the deli counter...God is giving me shit for not getting laid in a year....
Randomize
