would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
I just came so hard my vision went blurry. I can only hope one day I'll find a man that can accomplish what my left hand does on a tri-daily basis.
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
Why did I wake up to a snap chat of myself drinking beer out of a blender?
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
I DONT KNOW HOW I'M NOT DEAD, JESUS CHRIST ON A DOUBLE DECKER FUCKING KEANU REEVES BUS
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