so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
I thought you'd have died of alcohol poisoning years ago! How'd you get my number?
Dude you made a rodeo shot in beer pong won the game then got in the hot tub poured beer all over the side and screamed "hot tub time machine!"...
This hangover makes more sense now
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
Randomize
