so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
He could stay over, if you'd just ask.
Yeah. What am I supposed to say? "Oh, my couch is occupied, but my vagina's not"
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
He'll only communicate through snapchat with pictures of him holding his cat or his dick. Bit of Russian roulette opening them in public but I did it anyway.
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
Randomize
