she was so not down for the gang bang
I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
Thanks for FaceTime'ing with that ugly chick last night while me and her friend were in the other room. it's good to know I can still count on my wingman even when we're 2000 miles apart
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
I told my fuck buddy that I wanted one of his arms to take home with me to hold onto in bed and he was hurt that I didn't want to bring him, like as a person, home to my family. I feel like you and only you could appreciate this.
I told my mom Jesus would want me to snort drugs on his birthday
Randomize
