he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
My new hangover cure is going for a haircut, just so the stylists give me a scalp massage during the shampoo.
That certainly explains the nine times your hair has looked different just this last month alone.
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a Chick-Fil-A breakfast sandwich. How's your Monday?
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake 👌
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
Randomize
