I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
I never want to see another naked old woman again.
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
You do realize I got a panda tattooed on my ass just to get you laid, right?
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
Uh no. you let me handle it. trust me: I can paint the Mona Lisa in tints of bitch.
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
Randomize
