you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
He asked when the last time I had sex was. I had to look at the clock and respond "12 hours ago"
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
Slowly dying because of my period and my phone is mocking me because I have 69% battery
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
Randomize
