Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
i love how i spend my mornings exploring my phone to see what i did last night.
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
Randomize
