farters have to be the big spoon...
Yo, my girl thinks she's pregnant, so I've got a DD for the wedding. Sweet.
john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
this homeless guy just told me to make a wish on his magic plastic spoon but said to be careful what i wish for...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
I'm lonelier than Tom Hanks in Cast Away, right meow. Ready to make this bong my Wilson.
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
Randomize