I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
I just saw a guy getting escorted with handcuffs on, I'm too drunk to be at the airport right now.
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
You had me at "mimosas" several texts ago.
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
Why is it that when I sustain a serious injury people are more concerned with my level of inebriation than my personal safety?
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
I just walked into my kitchen and my little brother is standing with his face two inches from the clock, staring at it, and eating an apple. I asked wtf he was doing and he just goes "the hour hand is moving VERY slowly".
Randomize
