Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
My girlfriend and my fuck buddy both started their periods this weekend. The good news is, neither of them are pregnant. The bad news is, I'll have to find someone else to fuck til next weekend. No wait.....that's good news too.
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
I smell like Dick and happiness
Grandma keeps pulling a bottle of captain from her pocket and spiking people's drinks.. She just yelled "I'm DAMN HOT to be a grandma!" .. I LOVE HER.
Bro i just made a pipe out of a mechanical pencil and the top to an eye drop bottle. Does that make me some kind of pot god?
Randomize
