Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
nobody is as good of a wingman as me. i make whoever im with look like mark wahlberg during his underwear model phase
I made friends with a raccoon. I pet it. Like I was Pocahontas.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
On a side note...my DUI lawyer just snapchatted me. This is the exact moment in time when I realized my like IS a joke.
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
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