i think my tv is drunk
so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
You know how the doctor said I need to stop being vegan unless I find a way to get more protein? There's protein in beer. The doctor wants me to drink more beer.
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
Randomize
