What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
You took all of my sister's dolls and threw them out the window and then you started talking to her etcha sketch and mr. potato head. I later found you passed out in front of Toy Story and it all made sense.
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
It's like Facebook knows when I'm about to masturbate and tells me to reconnect with exes.
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
Also I'm very proud of th fact that I walked my dog before bed. Drunk dog walking should be an Olympic sport; it takes SKILLS.
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
Randomize
