there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
Well the pizza delivery man was either startled or incredibly intrigued to see me skateboarding in the living room by myself at 1 in the morning in ripped pantyhose
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
I figured out why I insisted on leaving my sweater on the ground outside. I smelled it and I'm 97% sure I peed on it last night
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
We fucked for 9 months, but he didn't want anything serious. So, I got rid of him and went on a date with a guy last night that looks like Kylo Ren. Who's really winning here?
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
Someone signed my nipple.
Randomize
