so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE 3 HOURS FOR BIRTHDAY SEX.
Randomize
