So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
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How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
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But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
You don't understand. On her lunch break she sits on the roof, stares into the sky, and chain smokes. I can't get on her level. She is made up of java monsters with whiskey and a voice that sounds like sex.
You need to stop crushing on your boss or fuck her.
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
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