: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
he showed up at my house with a hand-stiched sweater that said "girlfriend?"
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
My body hates me. Pretty sure I drank 3 pitches full of coffee last night and took two adderal. I slept and ran a marathon at the same time. You should see my bed.
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
I'm sorry I crashed your motorcycle and watched you get robbed from a rooftop. Will you please come back or at least drop off my shoes?
Randomize
