gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
the quote on the bathroom wall was "stop reading this and focus on peeing" and i realized i'd peed on the seat.
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
I came home to the cats covered in paint and he was asleep in the tub with a firefighters hat on.
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
It tastes like you we're too lazy to shower and instead just sprayed yourself with Febreeze.
You have a very discerning palate.
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
I have no idea why my husband is mad that I came home at 4 am & all I want to do is eat spaghettios. It's not fucking spaghettios fault.
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
So the door man at the local dispensary started giving me motivational talks about my beard...
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
Randomize
