hey, what are you doing? my roommates are gone for the night... you should come over ;)
nah, i'm gonna grab some food
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
be right there i have to get my cape
In other news, I just sent her a video of me masturbating while driving in the rain, so I guess you could say I've mastered Snapchat
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
I just swiped right for a guy on Tinder solely because it looked like he was holding Zoboomafoo
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
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