saw a man at the beach in a red speedo. when he rolled over he unintentionally displayed a HUGE skid mark.
When you started Hi-fiving people I knew u were fucking gone. You slapped some dude on the shoulder when he wouldn't hi-five you and he asked if he even knew you
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
I'm so poor. I just wiped my ass with cocktail napkins... That I stole from the neighbors... When I was over there stealing Cheetos.
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
I just had to go dumpster diving, at 3am, in the rain, because I realized that I somehow threw away the brand new package of birth control pills I picked up from the pharmacy this afternoon. So I'm sort of a responsible adult.
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
Randomize
