sometimes i just want to live alone. my roommate keeps looking at me weird like hes never seen a girl eat plain salt before
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
Didn't get laid. But got a free pie from a waitress. A whole pie.
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
It took me longer to finish the bottle of scotch we bought together on New Years than it did for her to meet a new guy and get engaged
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
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