You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
My mom just told me not to dance on any tables on Halloween...I'm choosing to take that statement as a joke
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
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