remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
I feel like tequila is Gods way of lighting my fuse to do something awesome
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
He tried to say "god bless your heart" to the stripper but it came out "god bless your pussy"
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
We got really stoned and then we fucked. Then he made me a panini.
Oooh, he sounds pretty classy
Actually, not at all. We were stoned so he made me a peanut butter panini. With a Rollo in the middle of it. And he left the panini press on all night. I could have died.
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
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