I'm watching CSI, they found semen in the woman's ear.
Guess she heard her killer coming
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
Just checked my voicemails on the work phone on speaker. Thank you so much for the one of you screaming "COME FUCK ME NOWWWW!" my boss loved it ..
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
Randomize
