the vacuum is drunk
what?
i spilled my drink and tried to vacuum it and now the vacuum is drunk
I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
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