yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
I'll always remember you bringing me that pregnancy test in the middle of an ice storm. Best friend ever.
New game I thought of while bored on the train. Anytime I get a text from an ex, I will randomly text a different ex. It's like a less charitable version of pay it forward.
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
All I ever wanted was my bed, Tylenol, and total darkness. Instead I had a pervert with porno posters who blares german rock calling me tootsie pop. How was your saturday night?
my alarm on my phone broke at the bar sooo i had to sleep with someone so i'd wake up on time for work.
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