Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
i just wrote an ode to an enchilada dorito. i'll need that pregnancy test now please.
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
You were trust falling into bushes
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
Randomize
