I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
I'm at the store buying plan b and vodka
the cocktail of hope
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
There's some band that practices next door to my apartment. I'm thinking we may need to check that out. I could be like, "Hey boys, thought you might like some lemonade and vagina."
Well there's a microwave in my yard now too. I fucking Bruce/Caitlyn Jennered decathloned that bitch.
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
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