I think I am morally bankrupt
Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
i can't believe you were mixing vodka with green tea last night and enjoying it.
i should bottle and sell it. my slogan could be "green tea vodka. antioxidating while intoxiacting. your liver will thank you. "
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
Randomize
