She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
Just saw a squirrel crossing the road in a crosswalk..my morning has improved exponentially.
even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
This is not a drunk text right now. This is an i want your dick text. There is a difference.
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
I deflowered you on valentines day. I AM THE BEST AT ROMANCE. LOVE ME.
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
Randomize
