No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
Things I've learned: after you move in with a girl it's much less satisfying to wipe your dick on her sheets after sex because now they're your sheets too
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
apparently while i was high i thought that putting a dinosaur temporary tattoo on my inner thigh would keep me from taking my pants off and having sex with him...
...it didn't...
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
I FEEL LIKE HILARY MUST FEEL WHEN TRUMP MANSPLAINS AT HER
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