So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
Happiness is having a 12 hour day thinking that there are only 2 beers in the fridge when you get home, but then finding 8. Fuck you Monday, this week I won.
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
She was going down on me before I had a chance to tell her I arrested her brother 3 hours earlier
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
Randomize
