READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
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We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
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Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
Randomize