had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
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