no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
Went to anytime fitness at 3:34 am drunk after the the bar and getting whataburger. Lifted weights with my cheeseburger between my knees. That's called DEDICATION.
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
I'm sun burnt so instead of getting drunk and trying to sleep with you, how about we get naked and you scratch my body and rub lotion on me while I rub one out?
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
Girl. There is no more toilet paper. You should have seen the twerking I just did to shake the pee off.
Randomize
