too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
I made out with an Italian cab driver. Not cool. Help. Good news he will drive us anywhere we want to go as long as you cook food?!?!?! I want to melt into the pavement.
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
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