Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
Random girl at this party just gave me a lap dance in a la-Z-boy. Night significantly improved.
She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
I think I'm destined to be the stoner version of one of those successful but emotionally unavailable characters Sandra Bullock always plays in movies
True strength comes from lack of pants
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
Randomize
