If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
What eyeshadow color says "yes I am at the dentist, and yes I am hungover please don't judge my life choices"
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
