you only like me because i go down faster than a bridge in minnesota
I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
Guess who got arrested for public drunkiness, and called jimmy johns for the entire station last night instead of someone to bail me out? The cop that arrested me drove me home. Win.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
I got Pilsbury cinnamon rolls for us to have tomorrow, but I don't have the willpower to leave them in my fridge overnight, so I am eating them all and getting us more in the morning
I love you more by the minute
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
Randomize