Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
see... this is why i put birth control in all my friends drinks
wait.... you do what?
i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
i asked a few people if they wanted to make pancakes with me but no one would. thats why i'm drunk by myself right now
I'm at Lowes and I'm constantly looking for things to vomit in, just in case
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
The morning after your company Xmas party and that moment you're eating a block of cheese in bed wearing a sequin blazer and recalling all the details of your one night stand with a coworker who happened to start that day...fuck.
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
I smell like Dick and happiness
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
Double high-fived his wife and her sister on the way out. If I'm not the best mistress ever tell me how.
Randomize
