at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
i saved a drunk oompa loompa he was passed out on the lawn and i picked him up figured out where he lived and put him in his bed and wrote his roommate a note
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
Randomize
