are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
He looked down at his phone and screamed "I'M NOT A DAD!" and then bought the entire bar a round
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
In lieu of flowers, please donate to The Hungover Children's Fund in my name.
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
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