Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
Buffalo PD walked in my bedroom this morning at 7 am. Was still blackout drunk, fully dressed, Steak Out wrapper on the floor, parking meter on the floor of the bar room. 'Both of your doors were wide open, wanted to make sure no one was robbing you.' Then I made a pass at her.
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
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