Haym$ered
turn off your phone and go to bed
Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
It is getting ridiculous, the elaborateness of the schemes I have to concoct so my suitemates don't know I'm pooping.
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
I finally realized he drank way too much when he tried serenading me to the song "come my lady" while slowly and creepily making his way toward me...keeping constant eye contact.
Randomize
