we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
I woke up this morning with my hair wrecked, a split lip, and an "H" on my right knee and a "I!" on my other knee.
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
When you get home there will be live fish in the bathtub. I did not put live fish in the bathtub.
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
Randomize
