I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
Last night I dipped into my beer fund to pay for groceries. SINCE WHEN ARE MY PRIORITIES SO WHACK???
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
I would say "man cannot subsist on sexting and brownies alone" but I think it's actually possible.
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
She asked the bartender for "7 shots of something fruity" and long story short the bartender punched me in the face. Chivalry is stupid.
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
Randomize
