It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
She just texted me that she's horny, then started quoted random music, then telling me everything she regrets. I don't think there's enough tequila in the world for me to deal with her...
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
The adults are the big ones right?
I'm glad I didn't see Grandma stumbling drunk and peeing herself...it would be like seeing my future.
Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
Randomize
