In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
Almost there.
define "almost". like I have enough time to watch a youtube video or oh shit, put on some goddamn pants because they're in the driveway.
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
I look excited, but its just a facade.
Randomize
