I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
Randomize
