D3 body, D1 cock
I just farted in the dogs face to show him who's boss
I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
i wish sherlock holmes were still around today... he'd be able to find my g-spot.
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
I got slapped by a drag queen and bitten on the arm by either a random girl or a weird mouth shaped dog. Tough to tell without seeing the teeth
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
Randomize
